He is just a simple man. Never with any pretensions of being what he’s not. He will not even lie to make her feel better. That is not his way. In others’ eyes he is neither handsome nor brilliant. In hers he is a superhero and that’s how it should be, for she has been battered. Slammed and pummelled and tossed aside as waste in that odd deceitful storybook-lying world of love. He has been only cautious, wise enough to see the dangers from the outside.
They stumbled into each other against all reasonable odds. Crossing oceans and deserts and emotional divides so vast others would have turned away; but they were brave. For that once, oh so important time, they were brave and set forth at first with brazen determination and then slowing down when the dangers were beginning to be realised and then, finally, tentative baby steps, but always moving forward.
On a cool Botswana night, when the cicadas roared in the trees after a day of hiding from the heat, they made the journey. A night of massive skies and the hint of starlight that couldn’t quite compete with the magnificence of a full, creamy moon. Roosters crowed confused. Dogs howled. And the simple act of recognising a safe place within the other happened. It was frightening beyond measure; liberating like being released from a jail, but then scared straight by the vast openness found on the other side of the gates. Love is like that, they found. Under the heavy moon that squashed the starlight, they fell in love in the dangerous scary way that all falling is. Unsure of what would happen, but unable to stop the process.
Lucky for them the falling has been kind.
I really like how you celebrate the nature of the everyday person through your characters, as well as the way life can be full of the unexpected. In this story I particularly like how the characters have encountered disappointment in their lives yet they are willing to stand up and be as brave as they have to when it comes to love. Another excellent piece!
ReplyDeleteSelma, I woke up this morning and wrote this story in about 15 mins. It was just in my head. I had intended to write about a moon ladder saving someone in a terrible situation- I might still. I like the idea of that moon ladder of yours.
ReplyDeleteThis day started just like that and has been a crazy wild cosmic one and it is not yet 3:30 pm. Eiyeeeeee!!!!! God what a huge, massive, gargantuan difference a day makes. Don't sqaunder a single one folks!
Wonderful Lauri. Perhaps a dream... perhaps something more.
ReplyDelete"Selma, I woke up this morning and wrote this story in about 15 mins. It was just in my head"
ReplyDeleteIsn't it wonderful when the muse gives us such presents as a ready-to-write story. I enjoyed reading your story. If you should choose to revise it then my advice would be "show don't tell." Thanks.
DavidM
I think maybe it was a dream, actually.
ReplyDeleteDavid, thanks for your advice. I'm seeing how to use these SEF stories. Since they're always written on the run rewriting is important so your comments are very useful.
Yes, this is very dreamy in nature. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anthony.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why, but this story has me thinking of a rich dessert, creamy, but not fancy.
ReplyDeleteLike the love in the story, it isn't frills and sugar-coating, it's the real stuff, that which satisfies both the hunger and the desire.
Excellent piece. It's so amazing when we get a story that just comes together so well, AND so fast.
I really liked the blunt straightforwardness of this piece. "...tossed aside as waste in that odd deceitful storybook-lying world of love." Great line - really fresh take on what is usually a tired topic - nicely done!
ReplyDeleteThis week I've had one of those 'maybe I'm not a very good fiction writer after all' kind of time. I read an article by an editor citing all the things she hates most that writers do and I got 100% - meaning I did all of them. Then I thought I knew show and don't tell and realised I don't.
ReplyDeleteSo- Kayt your comment was so very welcome this morning. Thank you thank you.
Of course, Karen, I've now hired on stand by. She's my personal praise poet. When I'm down she always has so many wonderful things to say. Thanks Miss Karen.
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