Monday, October 4, 2010
The Sea Monkey Scam Gets Worse
People who know me know I blame sea monkeys for a lot of things. I sort of see my life as the innocence before the sea monkeys and the jaded post-sea monkeys child I became.
We all saw these beautiful sea monkey adverts in our Richy Rich comic books. Look at that family! The jolly little baby, the fashionable mother. And as the advert clearly says they are "so eager to please, can even be trained". Yeah. Right.
We all bought them. They arrived as a powder. A powder. Nothing coming from a powder smiles. But still I had hope, it WAS pre-jaded child time so I was willing to give them a chance, so I mixed it all together, loosely following the instructions. And nothing happened. No little crowned family appeared. There was no smiling. There would be no tricks. Later I learned they were brine shrimp. Mine never even became brine shrimp. They were a stinky bowl of water with a layer of brownish scum on top which ended up flushed down the toilet.
And now I hear that the guy who "invented" sea monkeys, Harold von Braunhut was a white supremacist and the money we all forked out to buy the brine shrimp that ruined our childhoods was used to buy guns for the KKK. He was also a proud anti-Semite though he was apparently Jewish. Gave bucks to the Aryan Nation too. Great. Really great. As if this whole sea monkey incident was not traumatic enough.